is it so easy to share your thoughts??

i was yesterday watching a gamer’s stream and she suddenly got the news that a close friend of her’s committed suicide becasuse of depression and she started crying then she and all the people in her chat section started sayng that anybody who is in the same situation should contact someone or talk to someone but the only question that came in my mind was that do you think it is that easy to share our thoughts?? nobody would ever feel sad if we knew how to express us or if there were people who would listen to what I am saying. nobody gets to such a situation in one day, even i have friends and even if i am with them i am lonely because most of the people have someone special in the group itself and others know how to gain attention.On the other hand, i sit laugh and crack one or two jokes and then play chess.You think i never tried to explain myself? my parents and i rarely talk and never about each others problems and random people on the internet either makes fun or leave after listening to our story.even in real life, i understand its stupid to listen to somebody’s problem and certainly you would feel bored or irritated after 1 or 2 days or 1 or 2 weeks but that put me into more self doubt cause this can never get better in a day or two, nobody knows the time,and when you start listening to someone’s problems and then suddenly leaves , the first thought i get is that maybe i am not worthy of anybody’s friendship or maybe i don’t belong here i just iritate everyone or maybe i am not a good human being or maybe i should change but what I should change . And random people on the internet say that please tell us what is ghappening with you but I tried this also and mostly I became a joke and was mocked or somebody came with a dank joke ( which was actually funny and i found that funny too) and everybody got attracted. if someone is alone you never know what he goes through like even after a party i go to a cafe and sit alone and eat and watch others having fun with friends or family and the situation gets worse.Let’s keep some conversations for some other time and if you have read until now then either you relate with me or you just kept reading thinking “what stupid things he is saying”. Well in both the cases, THANK YOU FOR READING

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