Fear vs Willpower

You know it’s always funny. You talk big game, you say you’re ready to take the next step and own up to everything you said. Then reality kicks in.

You see that the place you always aimed to be is at your steps. However, you see what it actually means. The high levels of responsibility thrown at you, the people whose lives will now be under your care, the financial accountability that hiring you means for your department and the company itself. It’s a daunting feeling of stress and fear.

The green prairie you’ve been watching, dreaming, drooling over starts to go far in the distance and shape-shifts into a slender maze filled with corners with no exit on sight.

At this stage you pretty much have one of two choices.

You turn back, keep talking the big game and making sure everyone who is on the bloody maze knows that they should be doing better, also known as the fear in the fight or flight instinct.

Or you take the leap, you just try and see if you can survive in the maze. It will be hard, yes it will, but who said epic things are easy? You will hit your face in the will as I am expecting to hit along the way. There will be errors, there will be victories. You will have to outgrow your ineptitude faster than your decisions allow you to.

At the stage I am writing this, I am absolutely frightened.

However I take the words of my mentors very strong at heart, and I really want to try my stake at the pearly gates of Saint Peter. I am mustering every ounce of my willpower to not back down, to say to my current boss “hey I’m not going anywhere.”, and keep getting taps on my back while looking at that beautiful prairie from afar.

This will be a long journey.

I intend to keep writing my feelings and thoughts along the way.

I see it as a bridge, because as every common man, I am very fearful of heights.

I would like to end this first entry in my travel journal with a thought from Mr. Smith.

Do you know what lies after the point of maximum fear? Bliss. For there is no more fear to be felt. It’s like falling from a plane, you hate the ride going up, you fall (pun intended) in love with the journey coming down.

Repeating the words of Mr. Vitória “Everyone wants to go to heaven, nobody wants to die”.

Well I’m ready to “die”. I have roughly 15 days to get my act together, rest and prepare for this new incredible and daunting adventure. I ask if I’m ready, hell no I’m not. But there’s only one way to find out, putting one foot ahead of the other!

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